If I would have to talk about the turning point in my life it would definitely begin a long time ago - however I still remember in full detail and colours that evening night of my 27th bday, with the super pink full moon coming up on the horizon while celebrating with friends and family in my favourite place by the river, Buenos Aires.
That night I realised all I had been through already, and how the journey was evolving way much more that I could tell. I also had an insight on how the shift had started in my life, through forgiveness, a broken heart and a full body sensation and experience of gratitude.
I decided that as beautiful as life was, THIS EXPERIENCE could become aligned to my true nature, what I FELT, wished and had envision for years.
If the city and rushed life, that stress and quick pace was not for me, that was not wrong - it was actually great that I COULD listen to my heart, deeply and truly listen, and understand and accept that If I could believe it then surely I could see it and live it.
My life had been about working, creating a business, studying and going into meetings, selling and doing one day after the other. By the time my entrepreneur heart had launched my first business I was working 7 days a week - including weekends on farmers market, both sleep deprived and experiencing insomnia when I wanted to sleep.
My cooking and eating habits where “healthy”, yet all the stress, continuous talking, doing, creating didn’t allow for much rest, stillness or silence. And whenever there was a moment of silence or stillness, I had to use it for the best outcome, so I would end up working, or thinking about work (which is essentially putting energy to work into something)
The turning point meant leaving a lot “behind”, or more like a process of understanding the true meaning of letting go. And that in that letting go, followed by surrender, there would be a world of infinite possibilities for me to explore. I made a firm decision that on a years time I was going to be travelling and exploring, until I found or re created a balance life that looked more like what I wanted.
Once I made the decision, I told my closest friends and family. I decided that from that decision day onwards I was going to take everything slow, and started acting and doing things slower. I was going to have those long chats with my grandmother without telling her I am sorry I have to go, and go to a friends house that lived far away without the I can’t make it this week, I am to busy excuse. To breathe in, and enjoy the space where I had lived and created so much. To appreciate all that I had done, and give away and share this blessing with other as I started my new adventure.
I envision my new life, surrounded by nature, with someone I loved and appreciated, not wanting more or anything else but simple loving what I have. I made my vision board and kept it hanging by my bed looking at it every night. From that day onwards also I decided in this new chapter of my life, I was Going to sleep. It was not anymore something bad or to feel guilty, lazy or ashamed about. I took my grandfather out for lunch, and met every friend I could at that spot by the river - as if nature and that pure space was already home.
I started living differently, appreciating every moment - as if it was the last one. I dint know where I was going, but I was so sure in my heart, that the thousands of times I got ask “and now what, where are you going to live, what are you going to do” I came up with one simple response, I can’t put it into words, but I know its where my heart will take me.
And so it was, everything ready to go, with a happy see you later smile months after that my dad was taking me to the airport, hugging each other at the international departure gate, telling me Just Go with Your Heart.
And I did. I will never forget walking those steps towards customs with a smile, tears of joy, feeling so light as if I where walking through thin clouds, with one bag, and a pumpkin heart - knowing that from now onwards everything was possible, and that everything I had ever dream was just about to happen, and start.
The journey of exploring, letting go and surrendering took some time - and it was one of walking through rice fields in Indonesia alone and wondering, and yet not lost. Living in ashrams and Vipassana centres, volunteering and dedicating my life to one of giving, just to learn again how to receive. It took me through ups and downs as well, big storms and moments of fear, and each time coming back to a deeper understanding of myself. I learned to sit down in silence for hours, days, and months. To experience the stillness and yet all the voices that arise when we sit down without doing, just breathing and being. I learned to sit down with pain, something I had been so scared of and avoiding for so long. To listen to all the things I had to say, and to the nothingness and unique tunes of nature. I learned from gurus, teachers and masters, and so much from kids. I learned from poverty, and an appreciation I had never felt before for life, and death. I learned a lot from death, and said good bye to my grandmother in a rainy night in silence and meditation.
After all these travelling, I learned that I wanted to share this story with all. And started writing my book.
I learned that even when I felt this was just another experience and existence, my uniqueness and heart could well shine and inspire others. I learned to appreciate myself, and understand self worth.
I wanted to share this “YOU CAN DO IT” with everyone - you just have to start. The opposites that love and fear are, and how we can choose one over the other one, all the time.
I’ve seen that all I learned had to do with believe, and trust. And my life today shows we again and again that.
I live in a pacific island in a cute house on the bush, and I can see and hear the sea every time. Mother Nature is our provider for food, and we live in balance and with abundance with it. I have a lovely companion, captain, father, friend and partner by my side, with whom I wake up to a feeling of gratitude every day. I go to sleep early every night, and sleep like when I was a child. I have never felt exhausted or sleep deprived. I am healthier, and so are those around me and drink alkaline water and green juices every day. I hav
e a morning routine and keep on exploring the wonder and impermanence of a wellness life. I have friends and the blessing to have family nearby. I have completed studies of yoga, meditation and re building my career as a health coach.
Mostly, I live a simple life.