First I believe - Then I give myself time - Observe and I choose again what I believe
“Your unhappiness ultimately arises not from the circumstances of your life but from the conditioning of your mind” Eckhart Tolle
First I believe - Then I give myself time - Observe and I choose again what I believe - from there I act and expand
Lately I have been working a lot on observing my own thoughts - that voice we have on our mind that sometimes tells us to react or comes up with all this fight or flight ideas for survival, basically “You gotta go” “Just save yourself while you can” “Defend, defend, defend”
Wherever we are at, in our life or spiritual journey, we can all relate to that tinny, or maybe really loud voice inside.
Some of us have learned that calling it by its own name, can actually give us that opportunity to tell the Evil Shrek it can now rest and leave it all to us.
However many times, emotions just come up as bullet proof words, emotions or reactions. When they do so, and if we are feeling vulnerable or low in energy, overwhelmed or anxious around that moment, they may harm the person in front of us with words of accusation, shame, guilt and hatred.
If you are in a long term relationship or have ever been, you probably can relate to one moment where you “completely lost it” and things came out in the most negative, hurtful way. Even, when deep down, this might not be your intention - your soul’s intention.
Recently I got myself into one of this fight and fight situations. I used to flight in the past, nowadays I am in such a loving, growing spiritual relationship with myself - and my partner that instead of just flying I sometimes decide to fight.
The last time this happened, Once I realised what was happening, instead of thinking “Oh it’s too late, the harm has been done, I gotta fight” I asked for a time out - to my inner Evil Shrek voice, myself and my partner (You may do this within, in silence or express it with kindness)
At that point I realised my belief of the whole situation was one of the past. An old pattern and emotions of feeling less worthy, insecure, not listened and supported - automatically I could see that little girl wounded like travelling in time. This triggered old emotions of anger, frustration, guilt for not showing up and standing for myself and so on.
The moment I observed my belief, deeply listen to my thought I took a moment to breathe. I usually repeat to myself, or others if they are around, Take a DEEEP BREATH IN………AND EXHALE. (If you've been queuing up for the ferry by my side, or on one of my daily walk you may have overheard me saying it - i hoped it worked as much as it does for me)
Giving myself time, this time, I decided to go on a walk.
During the walk I went from one side of the swing to the other: “Oh I’m so so right, I know I am right” “Hold on, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy” “oh but im feeling so so angry, and I just want to yell”
After breathing in and out, and allowing time to really observe this whole thought that so quickly, as they do, became a story. After observing, and maybe even giggling at myself, I FELT THE SHIFT Happening in my being. I was given and I am giving myself the opportunity to CHOOSE AGAIN.
This is a method I learned from the spiritual leader Gabby Bernstein, The Choose Again Method. Observe the thought, forgive yourself and others for the thought, and choose again from a place of kindness and love.
And so I did. As it happens with relationships and most of us when we get into that fight or flight, it’s ALL ABOUT THE CONVERSATION we are having. As human we strive, we constantly seek for connection, being safe with one another, and ultimately this happens through and with communication.
COMMUNICATING and learning to communicate from a non judgmental, self love, kind place is a whole journey in itself. One i'm feeling more comfortable with and going deeper day by day, and when I say comfortable this usually means I have to dig deep also in the uncomfortable shadows of myself (poop). So I DO.
When I realise the conversation in my head or with another being has not been one of pure love, kindness and compassion, I OBSERVE. THEN I PAUSE. I DEEPLY LISTEN. BREATH IN AND OUT, WALK - AND CHOOSE AGAIN.
When im choosing again I LIKE TO REFRAME the thoughts or words, offering a solution that will support and benefit both sides. I know this works well between me and my partner, as I usually recognise that I, and we both, want to be right. And why not, meet half way through.
So the new solutions may come up in this enlightened moment - and then again it's all about the way in which I will communicate this again.
I’d like to think I can always start by asking for forgiveness if I’ve been not talking or thinking from a space of pure love.
The art of forgiveness is like any art:
You need to start with a white canvas, brushes all the colours and paints and an open heart 💓
Forgiveness has this magical feature to it, IT WILL SET YOU FREE.
Now, with forgives, a new line of thoughts, a brand new polished with love belief, a couple of breaths and words of love, the spell occurs. YOU WILL EXPAND INTO LOVE. GROWTH. AND A NEW YOU.
“Your unhappiness ultimately arises not from the circumstances of your life but from the conditioning of your mind” I re write this for you to read it one more time. You may now set yourself FREE from the conditionings of your MIND. AND LET HAPPINESS ARISE.
May you be free. May you be happy. May you be peaceful
Please share your thoughts, PM 💌 me or 📧
With love and abundant health xXx